Diminished energy levels, minimal motivation and a mental and physical state that resembles a vacant zombie are just a selection of the unsightly side effects associated with antidepressants, but do these powerful pills really have the ability to transform you into an empty shell?
Although we all react to medication in our own individual way, many continue to suffer in silence through fear of the proclaimed paralysis antidepressants are said to inflict on one's emotions, feelings and personality. So, to mark the start of mental health awareness week (11-17 May), I have decided to share my own personal diary of life on the antidepressant Citalopram, in order to give those struggling with anxiety and depression without medication, an insight into what to expect during the first - and apparently toughest - week of medicated treatment.
Day one: although slightly apprehensive about resorting to 'happy pills' (I hate that term), I focus on the feeling that the potential side effects can't possibly be any worse than how I feel each day - I take the 20mg tablet.
Initial reaction - I felt fine. A little more chilled than normal, but my logical side tells me that this is purely psychological as opposed to the instant impact of the antidepressant.
Roughly 4-5 hours later and I begin to feel very fuzzy headed yet still very much alert - almost spaced out and not myself but in a good way.
The first night proved to be difficult as I felt mentally exhausted but struggled to sleep - possibly because I kept experiencing the overwhelming urge to vomit. This seemed to disappear as quickly as it arose and I eventually drifted off at 3am feeling optimistic about the forthcoming weeks...
Initial reaction - I felt fine. A little more chilled than normal, but my logical side tells me that this is purely psychological as opposed to the instant impact of the antidepressant.
Roughly 4-5 hours later and I begin to feel very fuzzy headed yet still very much alert - almost spaced out and not myself but in a good way.
The first night proved to be difficult as I felt mentally exhausted but struggled to sleep - possibly because I kept experiencing the overwhelming urge to vomit. This seemed to disappear as quickly as it arose and I eventually drifted off at 3am feeling optimistic about the forthcoming weeks...
I would like to stress that although this week will reveal an insight into my own personal experience, everyone will react to antidepressant medication in their own individual way - some more than others. The aim of sharing such an honest and private experience is to not only raise awareness during an important week, but to encourage others to seek the help they need.
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